the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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