I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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