Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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