end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
