So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
