it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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