so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we're making bets on your personal life
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
