very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
