I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
