haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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