I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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