Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
