wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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