i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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