Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize