I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
