McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
