I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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