I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
