Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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