After last night, I could never be a politician.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
