covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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