I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
