WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
a search helicopter?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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