I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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