: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
