thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize