question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
