I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
