so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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