Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize