Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
