im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
