His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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