That's intense
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
