don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
