have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
