Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
