I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
