Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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