We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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