Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
