i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
