we have officially lost it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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