I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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