Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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