If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
