I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
