ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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