no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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