Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
