none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
