It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i believe in u and ur pee
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