Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
