Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
