somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
