before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
