I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
