I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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