im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
