I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize